I feel empty inside
by Yagya1991
Summary: Pan run off to abroad making an excuse to study further. She has been struggling to keep her grades and love life good but they both seems to be more than just messy. And she has been keeping secrets from her family from a long time.
1. A Headache

**Hello Guys! This is my very first TP story. hope you'll like it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ. But i do own one character in this chapter.**

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><p><span><strong>Prologue: <strong>

Pan. Son Pan. It's been a year since she gave her finals of degree course. Her results came out exactly four months ago from today and she failed. She failed to clear her honors. Not satisfied with her result she decided to apply for reviews and until then keep the result and every mess to herself only. She didn't want to see her family since then, didn't call them much, and when does cut the call soon. She does go to occasional visits but just for one day full max. She didn't meet her best girlfriend Bulla Briefs, from home about 2 years now and her best friend of all Trunks Briefs, for 3 years since she left for college. Her other friends would be Marron and Uub and that case is similar to Trunks with a slight difference since they couldn't make it to airport to see her off.

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><p><strong>I Feel Empty Inside<strong>

Do you know?

I am cold tonight

Do you know?

I miss the warmth tonight.

Do you know?

M shaking and m scared

M preparing myself to stand

When I'll fall from height

I lie, I like a Lie.

And sometimes you know.

That m nothing but a big lie!

Yes, a lie! I lie to all

And I lie that m alright

so you can throw me all…

Do you know?

Why i lie, for i lie a lot!

It's like i want to stand up

But m too lazy, to crawl

To gather the strength up

And run with the blazer on (laughs)

But its O.K. i guess

To live in the dream world

And its O.K. i guess

To lie and build the strength up

M like to lie but why?

Do you know the reason?

But today gonna be different

For i feel the fire

The taste of fear

The fear of the heights!

So we gonna rock tonight

Up all night.

We'll climb on the mountain

And dance in the middle of the ocean

But do you know why?

Why i try to be different?

_Do you know why...?_

_Let me tell ya why…_

For i feel i am empty inside!

Yes i feel empty inside!

Oh i am empty inside.

That's right, empty inside!

- Son Pan, song from diary.

**Beep. Beep. Beep.**

**Beep. Beep. Beep.**

"First he didn't wants a break up, next he calls our anniversary a joke, then he himself ask for break up and now when i agreed to him, he starts up again ! Why can't he accept his own decisions and stick with it? Argh! …"

**Beep. Beep. Beep.**

"What the hell does he wants now?!" Pan moans while picking up the beeping cell phone to read the text.

_ Pan, you don't talk with me even in normal conditions. Even when i need you, you avoid me, _

_ you always seem to lead your life alone … what i am having position in your life?_

- _Sam_

_"_Man! This must be the thousandth time i am gonna reply to his same whinnying." Pan wonders out loud.

"Great! He is back in same track! I don't understand, if he wants a break up or solutions then he just have to accept what we decide. But no! He has to rewind the tape every time!" She rubs the bridge of her nose in irritation.

"Okay Pan, what you gonna do with him? He don't even gets that you don't love him like a lover anymore! He is not seeing that it never been a true love... Hah! looky looky panny! You are talking to yourself again." _well this isn't really my fault if i get my answers sooner by just talking to myself, now is it?_

"Okay! pan send him a final text . Send him exactly what you thinks and doing! What he does later will not be your concern? He is a man enough to take care of himself and more over , you got your own problems to worry about!" She rubs the sides of her temples to ease her stress. She felt like a headache getting worse with every text from her boyfriend.

Making the decision Pan sends a reply text to his 'ex-or-not-Kami-knows' boyfriend from college exactly what thinks and say a bye for now along with it.

"Phew! Great start of a new day!" sarcasm dipping from her

"Sheesh! Need to hurry for work!"

Using her incredible speed, attained by years of training, her picks out her outfit for the day and lay it on the bed. She makes a rush to her attached bathroom for a worm shower. Drying her with a towel, she blow dried her long silky black hair and put it in a French braids. Entering her room she puts on white tank top and denim blue jeans and puts on a black biker jacket.

Making a dash run to the kitchen, she help herself with few sandwiches and fruit juice and puts on her favourite black boots. Pan turns around from where she is standing, at the main door of her apartment, checks everything and takes her bag from its place along with few capsules. Turning around, she switches off the mains, locks the door after her and makes a walk to the bus stop.

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><p><strong>Read and review please. <strong>

**This is my first time i tried writing a song and adding it to my story too. Hope both the song and the start of the story are okay. Suggestions and Ideas are very much welcome. If you don't like something don't hesitate to tell me about it coz as i said suggestions are very much welcome.**

*** If you couldn't recognize the person i was talking that i own , then its that boyfriend of Pan that i created, Sam.**

**So C ya and take care.**

**Chao!**


	2. Worries

**I know its been a long time since updated a new chapter but here it is. Hope you guys will enjoy! And i have a request guys please review. i didn't get review for the 1st one. and well i'll be true to you, it hurts ! kinda discouraging!  
><strong>

**well , i wont bore u long so here you go!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ. But i do own one character mentioned in this chapter. M sure u'll know which one when you'll read.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Capsule Corp. Residence:<strong>

"Mom! Am leaving!" Trunks say while giving a peek on cheek to his mother who was working on yet another new project in her lab.

"Wait! Trunks!"

"Un, Yes mom?" giving a questioning look to his mother.

Bulma sighs deeply. She doesn't like the fact that her only son is drowning himself under work so much lately. Yes, she was very much happy because it certainly helping their company to spread its wings all over the world. But she is a mother too and it hurts her to watch his son deprived of any social life except company parties. It's like watching a robot roaming around in the face of her son.

"I want you to finish off this meeting and take a long vacation starting there! You got it?!"

"But Mom, I -" He started but was cut off by his mother.

"No buts trunks, you are taking a vacation I don't know where you going, with whom you going. But you certainly not staying at my home for a month at least -"

"A month! Mom, there are meetings lined up for month!"

"Postpone it!"

"But -"

"NO BUT! I DON'T WANT MY SON WORK LIKE A ROBOT DAY AND NIGHT! I'll take over for the time being."

"But i don't have anyone to go out with! Goten is busy with his two big projects at hand."

"Well take Uub!"

"… Mom, listen up! How about i plan this with them and then I'll ask you for this vacation?! "

"No trunks, You have given me this shit of an excuse before. How about you go visit your grandparents for a change? I am sure they'll be happy to have you! It may interest you too, knowing my father he won't let you get bored…" she suggested with an encouraging smile. Trunks saw something else too, something radiating from her whole being, a hope, a plea. _"Oh, now I really can't say her 'No'! How these ladies do that to us? One look and we are done surrendering. Come to think of it been a really long time since i met grandpa and eaten grandma's cooking …" _trunks thought to himself.

"Gosh! I haven't visit them really long." thought aloud again with a small smile.

"A while! Say a decade young man!" He gave her a sheepish grin and scratches the back of his head.

Being friends with Sons have their own effect. You can see yourself picking up their good and bad habits. Especially if you are friends with one, since you are toddlers.

"Okay mom! I'll go and visit them! And before you say anything, I'll call you after meeting but now i really should get going. Bye." he give her another peek and turns to leave.

"Bye son and take care!"

"Sure! Bye Dad, see you both in a month." calls back when he saw his father making his way towards them, sweating.

With that he makes a run towards the front door and outside where his driver would be waiting for him.

"I see, he is taking a vacation after all." Vegeta said while making his way to the fridge, which was in the lab, for some drinks.

"Yeah! He is going to visit mom and dad after his meeting with . I would inform them once he calls me after the meeting."

"Your old folks, huh?"

"Yeah, he was arguing that he got no one to go out with and that he'll get bore alone. With Dad being there, he won't have to be worry about getting bored." explained Bulma.

Vegeta handed her a coke and sat besides her watching her blue prints that she was working. Though he wasn't as good as his woman and son in this department, but living with them gave him pretty good knowledge of what exactly they got in mind. And by the blue prints he can tell it's no tech related but medical related. But he decided better not to show his interest to the woman or he won't have any peace time for himself.

"What you thinking Vegeta?" Bulma raised an eyebrow towards him while still working on her computer.

"Nothing." like an after-thought he added. "We haven't visits the Sons lately."

"Oh. Don't worry you'll soon. Me, Chichi and Videl decided to start planning for upcoming Ball." she received an annoyed grunt from the man beside her.

"Deal with it! You have to wear costumes I'll choose." She was gifted by a mixture of pout, unamused smirk and frown.

"Whatever woman! ... Is she coming too? I don't want to see only saiyan in this generation getting rusted in her fighting skills too. She gonna get it if that happens."

Bulma smiled catching the fondness Vegeta shows towards the said girl. The respect both of them holds towards each other amazes everyone around. _"Come to thinks of it, she is a second daughter to both of us. A daughter who accepts her heritage to the fullest . No wonder they were close like father-daughter."_ thought Bulma with a knowing smile.

"I don't think so. I talked to Videl and well, she won't be attending this year's party too. "

Vegeta was up for another drink when he heard that. He frowns at the information given and temporarily halts his action.

"Isn't she stays somewhere near your folks?" he asked and resumed his search through the fridge.

"No! Not near! She is staying dozens of cities away." at this Vegeta raised a suggestive eyebrow towards her like she was forgetting something important.

"Oh, yeah for you saiyan, couple of cities away will be appropriate! But what you suggesting?" she said getting that there is something more.

"Send our brat to see Gohan's brat." with that he leaves the lab to go to kitchen to get something to eat.

Vegeta tried his best to keep every hint of worry out of his voice, but Bulma caught the wariness in his words and how quick it was spoken. Like an order that meant to be done before it's too late. She was looking on her computer screen when he orders her to do it and her eyes shot up. She turns to see her husband leaving the lab. But she didn't miss his serious expression on his face. Not that, that he doesn't had one always. He always wears a frown expression but of course being his mate she can tell the difference. She stares at the doorways for few seconds then decided to ask Vegeta about it later.

"_Does Vegeta think something is seriously wrong with her? Dende please keep everyone safe!"_ She prayed.

She was worrying about Trunks but now is little tensed about all six of them. She has notices that even Goten who used to date nonstop has no social life except the family parties The Sons- Briefs-Chestnuts have. Not even Uub, Marron and Bulla go out like they used to. Was life being that hectic to all of them? Or was it something else? She will have to know. And with that determined as a 'To Do' task, she returned back to her comp screen.

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><p><strong> I really wish for a review . i hope this chapter will bring some more reviews. Good or bad . any suggestions and ideas are welcome . And feel free if you have any questions for me too.<strong>

*** If you couldn't recognize the character that i own, its the Business guys Trunks going to meet, .**

**C ya and take care.**

**read and review please.**


	3. A laugh

**Hey Everyone! Sorry I didn't update for so so so long. But I hope the chapter is not disappointing you guys.**

**Well, here the new chapter at last so Enjoy.**

" "** - for Conversations.**

* _italic_ *** - for side jobs and sounds.**

~ _italic_ ~** - for thoughts.**

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><p>"Don't worry , they are in safe hands. What time you said you'll be back again?!"<p>

"Oh! It's probably past 8 pm. It's just the business dinner with the world richest and most eligible bachelor you know…."

By this time Pan had turned her out knowing pretty well that it'll probably past 11 pm they gonna return. It's always goes that way anyways, and they end up getting back drunken dead or staying the night out.

"Oh well it's not like I'll face any stalker or kidnapper whom I can knock out cold easily!" *_sigh_* though pan.

"… So, will you mind?!" Mrs Donson asked.

"Hunh!?"

"I said will you mind to sit them longer if it takes us late?" asked again with little irritably for being ignored.

"Oh! No, No problem but Mam It may charge a little more!"

"Wonderful, and don't worry about the money it's alright with us. Right honey?" She looks towards with a sly smile.

"Yeah, no problem! We'll be leaving you in-charge of this house and of our kids now. Good luck and Thank you Miss. Son. "

Pan sighs and looks down towards the toddler standing beside her and the bundle she is currently holding and smiles at their cuteness.

"She is certainly going to enjoy her time with them." Thought Pan and looked up to wave the leaving business couple for the important meeting.

"Let's get inside shall we Leo, Flora?!"

"Yay! Pan, will you play with me and Leo?" little Flora asked sweetly to her babysitter.

"Sure! What you want to play Flora?"

"Let's play Blocks, and then dress up, then, then …um Pan?"

"Yeah dear!"

"I am hungry!" *_baby cry_* and well that's the cue that Leo is hungry too.

"Guess Brother agrees with my stomach too!" _*giggles_*

Pan laughs watching antics of the siblings. She gets a Déjà-vu, watching these kids a distant memory of two siblings flashed through her eyes like a blur. She shakes off feel just as quickly as it came.

"Okay! Then let's see what we can make! You wanna help me make food for you and your brother?"

"Sure! But let's feed him first, his crying is annoying me now!" Flora complained holding two fingers to block ears.

"Yeah, you are right! Let's go to nursery we will find his feeding bottle there. Your mother kept it ready I hope!" ~_I really hope Mrs. Donson is not too lazy~ _thought Pan crossing fingers.

Three of them went inside the nursery and both the girls started to search for the baby food. Pan was trying her best to shush the crying baby and trying to distract him with soft whistling sound and small talks. With no luck with ready-made baby food, they went downstairs and inside the kitchen to prepare Leo's milk.

_~I take it back, is way much lazier than I thought~ _thought Pan while adding Luke worm water to baby food as directed.

Flora was watching all these with little awe. She never saw her mother make Leo's food while taking care of him. ~_I bet mom never even tried to prepare all these food. There is always someone else who prepare all of our food.~_ She thought with a slight angry pout. She wanted her mother's cooking.

Pan was watching Flora with corner of eye to make sure that the other kid doesn't hurt herself. Her face curved into a pleased smile that the little girl found something amusing in whatever Pan was doing and that she was waiting in pure awe. But then suddenly she saw the kid's expression change in an angry pout which in a way was cute but also made her curious as to why the kid is disturb and decided to ask her.

"What is it Flora?!" Pan asked in a concerned voice making sure to be soft to the girl.

After a small silence, Pan settled stack of sandwiches, a cup of chocolate milk and a cup of coffee for Flora and herself.

"What's the matter dear?" She asked again.

Flora silently took one sandwich and takes a big bite. Then looked up to Pan and asked, *_chew-chew-chew-gulp down*_

"Promise me, you won't tell mom & dad!"

"Okay! I promise I won't tell anyone unless I think it's something risky. It isn't risky, is it?!"

"Un-uh! It's just confession! Nothing risky! I never saw mom cook. I never saw anyone cook! ..._*munch- munch_*… mom never cook. _*pout_*. Did you saw mom's cooking Pan?" Talking about mom's cooking made Pan sad. She miss her mom's cooking, her grandma's cooking too.

"Yes Flora! I saw my mom cook! My mom's cooking is really good. But my grandma's is the best! I never ate anything like it. I learn cooking from them. Grandma forced me to learn it before I left home."

"Hmm, I can tell too! Your cooking is better than those cooks of ours!"

"You guys got cook of your own?!"

"Yeah! But I don't like them! They are grumpy!"

"… Hahahaha! Really? Tell me all about it but first lets finish these, wash them and take Leo to his crib then we can play and talk. Sounds Good?!"

"Yeah!" with that she finishes her third one and emptied her chocolate milk. Then washes her hand and takes her brother from Pan and waits in corner to let Pan finish washing the dirty plates with awesome speed.

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><p><strong>Please Please Review what you think about it. And if you have any suggestion how you what this to go. Please dont hesitate to write it to me. All type of suggestions are welcome. truely welcomed.<strong>

**Thanks for being here!**

**C ya and Take care!. **


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